Oscar Rundown

I thoroughly enjoyed the Oscars. I thought the more casual approach to the show did wonders for keeping me awake for all 3 1/2 hours.
Without further ado, here are my own nominations/categories for the class acts/freakshows at the show.

Cutest Cast
Have you not been convinced to see Slumdog Millionaire yet? For heaven sake people, look at those little kids! I also have a full-blown stalker crush on Dev Patel. He's 18 and fair game.

Funniest DuoSteve Martin needs a permanent part on 30 Rock. These two just work well with each other, as evidenced in last year's classic "Baby Mama." Hilarious.

Best use of the macrobiotic diet/not eating

If I was a betting man, I'd say SJP hasn't eaten in at least three months to cinch her waist in this cotton candy number. Ferris looks thrilled, nonetheless..wonder why.

Best use of a surprise presenter

I think I should share in this award, as I squealed so loudly when Rpatz walked on stage, that I embarassed myself...which I am continuing to do as we speak. While we're on the subject, I can't believe Twilight wasn't nominated for best picture.....

Why are you here, again?/Least relevant

Zac and Vanessa: Zac, lay off the industrial bottle of hair oil. Vanessa, do not ever admit that your dress makes you feel like a young Audrey Hepburn. If you are the Audrey of our time, the universe itself will implode.
Miley: Just because you were in a nominated animated movie does not give you the right to taint this time old tradition. Take your multiple personalities and bad acting back to Nickelodeon. That was harsher than I originally intended, maybe I have some latent issues with Hannah Montana that I need to deal with.
Maria Menounos: SERIOUSLY?

Worst use of Collagen and a curling iron
(file under: Why are you here, again?)

Poor, poor Lisa Rinna. Her lips are now 98% manmade and her hairdresser hates her. Why don't we go back to hosting SoapNet talk shows, dear.

Best Use of Camera Angles
I loved the camera panning to Angelina as Jennifer Aniston was presenting. " Oh, look, Angelina is laughing...I bet they're besties." My question is, when will it be funny for Brad, Angelina, and Jennifer to present an award together with a live elephant on stage....because it would be hilarious for me starting right now. Make it happen. Also, I love that Johnny boy was finally broken out at an awards show on her arm...coincidence that it was at the show where the ex and homewrecker were in the front row?...I think not.

Most foul

Worst Dressed just didn't seem strong enough. Beyonce, please ask yourself, "do i look like wallpaper?" before you walk out the door in the future. It will save us all a lot of eyesores.

Best Dressed Runner-ups
I thought Kate Winslet looked classic and gorgeous..a little Grace Kellyish. I don't care about the criticism of her stiff hair, I loved it. And, Taraji P. Henson is just stunning. I can't wait to see her in future movies.

BEST DRESSED

I don't care if I'm the only one in agreement with myself...I thought Natalie Portman was stunning. Her makeup, hair, and dress were flawless. The Joaquin Phoenix bit with Ben Stiller didn't hurt either.