Grammy rundown

We hunkered down yesterday around 5, with piles of saturated fat (courtesy of Sam's club) to watch all 12 hours of the Grammy's.
My abbreviated commentary:

Yes, Whitney looked great. But why is no one talking about her drug/alcohol/Bobby Brown induced stupor. She was stumbling all over her words and her eyes were categorically wonky. Oh, and one kiss blown to Clive Davis is enough, Whit.
Miley cannot sing. I don't know why the recording industry needed this little duet on national television to remind themselves...but it was painful...like cringe inducing. Find a new bestie, Taylor.

Justin Timberlake/Al Green can do no wrong. Poor, poor Keith Urban back there. Although he was featured in no less than two performances last night, apparently his guitar skills, and not his vocal prowess, are in demand these days. He didn't get near a microphone.

M.I.A is a riot. Performing in a mesh cut-out dress on your due date-That kid is going to be out of control.

Mr. Mayer wore a satin mock-collar jacket. Sometimes I think he wears this stuff just to be written about.

Carrie was so shiny last night. Her bronzed legs were blinding and made me want to do leg lifts for the rest of eternity.

Finally, my ABSOLUTE favorite moment of last night. Adele winning best new artist. She wasn't even mentioned in all of the pre-show British invasion montages, and then she destroyed the competition. I screamed, fell back in my chair, and almost went crashing through our sliding glass door at this point. She is fabulous..her album shot up to #6 on Itunes within 30 minutes of the show airing. Keep on chewing that gum, girl.

I will choose not to mention the fact that the musical gods allowed the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder to perform together...and then nick forgot the words to superstitious. I won't dignify it with a picture or the paragraph of disgust that I could write.