sumptuous swish

Sonya Renee Sale

2010-01-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

I got this Sonya Renee necklace (with a C, mind you) last year, and I wear it every day.

From now until Valentine's day, enter BeMine on her site, and get 20% off your order.

There you go Evans. Now I'm good for something.

BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGG

2010-01-20T17:36:00.000-08:00

Blonde, Bland, and BORING.

He belongs on one of those Abercrombie collector bags that we used as room decor in middle school. I mean, what?

Moving on.

The only thing keeping me watching was this desperate chick.
Crazytown.

Someone needs to marry her so she'll hush up.
I hear that sobbing about your need for marriage turns a profit.

SHAN SHAN

2009-12-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

This is Shannon

Boys want her, girls want to be besties with her (phew!), and that would be an awkward statement except for it's factual basis.

She's reached the ripe old age of 21 today and I can't be there to throw her a raging (albeit very mormon) kegger like last year. Let that diet DP flow, ladies and gentleman!

She says things like totes, it's fine it's fine, I'd die for my friends, and ridick on a regular basis.

I think I got half my vocabulary from her. I love the girl.
(on a shallow note, can we all revisit the time when my skin wasn't see through? I want a tanning bed for Christmas. Or just skin cancer. either/or)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNNNNNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Throw one back for me!!!

I still have a blog

2009-12-16T23:48:00.000-08:00

Do you people wanna know why I don't blog anymore?

I'm a wee bit busy..and not in the condescending,"blog mom I'm busier than all of you kinda way"
It's more of the, "I'm busy just like all of you, but then I'm too lazy to blog kinda way"
Oh, and I was straightening hangers at my workplace until 1 AM tonight. Commence pity party.

When I get home...I check email...pat Dudley on the head, don't blog, and freakin sleep.

I'm workin on it.

Our poor generation

2009-12-03T22:49:00.000-08:00

I love people who update their facebook statuses on an hourly basis...Sorry Billy, I don't care that you're bathing your dog and will soon be hitting up the grocery store and then going out with your boo.

This video takes it to a new low.

A bride and groom updated their relationship status FROM THE ALTAR.

Fatty

2009-11-11T20:48:00.000-08:00

I was perfectly content digging into my Blue Bell this evening..complete with yoga pants and sitting on the kitchen counter..when the douchebag advertising gods chimed in on the size of my thighs.

The Special K commercial came on that states "don't let late night cravings ruin your day"
Nothing was being ruined until you commented on my lard content.

This commercial was immediately followed by the Victoria's Secret double your bra size with this bra commercial complete with Brazilian waifs romping around in next to nothing.

SERIOUSLY? First, I'm reminded that I should be eating Special K to satisfy my cravings and then I'm immediately reminded that if I don't, I'll never star in a Vicky's commercial.
Cuz let me tell you, I'm on their short list.

Courtney the paper doll

2009-11-09T21:58:00.001-08:00

Have y'all seen how well traveled I am?

Evans cracks me up.

She's living in Geneva for the semester and took me with her.

It evolved out of a conversation about my obsession with flat stanley..and my loser lack of traveling.

I love the attention to Courtney detail...especially the leopard flats..you know me too well, ya freak.

Halloweeeeen 2k9

2009-11-09T21:34:00.000-08:00

I lamed out on Halloween this year.

By lamed out I mean I broke my streak of dressing up like trashy celebrities.

2004. Jessica Simpson
(complete with tuna can)

2006. Britney and KFed.
(That pink velour jumpsuit was worth every penny)
2007. Ginger Spice
(union jack courtesy of electric tape)

2008. Mary-Kate and Ashley
(we dug through trashcans for our Starbucks-classy)

2009. Flapper. LAMEO
I don't know if I'm more disappointed in myself or the lack of a crop of trashy celebrities.

I would look like the geriatric version of Miley..and no one wants that.

You can call me Cordy

2009-11-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

"What's your name miss?"
"Courtney"

"What is it?"
"COURTNEY"

Yup, that's about right.

Ew

2009-11-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

I've reached a whole new level of blog stagnation. That's a word, trust me.
Sorry folks, I've been busy flitting around to all the hot spots this country has to offer.

And by hot spots...I mean three trips to Lubbock and one trip to Provo.

Please contain your jealousy.

I'll be better..if only to avoid my friends harassing me for more pointless posts.

I'll leave you with this little doll.

Sadie and I are bffs now.

Everytime I see this ad...

2009-10-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

...I feel awkward.

I will give explicit instructions to my wedding photographer about not shooting rope-swinging-up-the-dress shots.

It's just...awkward.

Wanna know what LC has been up to?

2009-10-07T18:44:00.000-07:00

There is such a natural progression from star of MTV reality show to designer of crappy clothes line at Kohl's.

I mean, right?

Sure, the ads look harmless enough. Simple wardrobe staples for less. Great angle, Lauren.
Way to connect with us lowly folk.
Except...

The clothes really look like this.

Oh, and this.Maybe LC should start by chatting with the mannequin stylists at Kohl's to ensure that all appendages are included on said mannequins. Peg leg Lucy ain't lookin so hot in that tunic.

A SADIE BABY

2009-09-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

Have you people seen my niece lately?

For heaven sake..she's a doll. I'm borderline creepily obsessed.

The Grosh

2009-09-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

The grocery store is a black hole that sucks all sense of spending and actual necessities out of me.

Pa gave me a $20 to get dog treats.

I came home with all this crap.

Why, yes, I would love a $3 hair product that provides "real shine" (added grease) to my mane.

While we're on the subject, the BBQ pizza lean cuisine is subpar. No really, steer clear. Just hit up the pizza snack aisle. Your hips will thank you.
In case you were wondering, my total was $20.50. That's only fifty cents out of pocket for crap I don't need.

All I want for Christmas...

2009-09-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

...is a dadgum steamer.

I've been looking scrubby lately.

Befores and Afters

2009-09-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

Ma and I bought this lovely thing on Craigslist

..painted it...re-knobbed it..

..and papered it..maybe next time I'll organize it before taking pictures.

Also notable as of late...I cleaned my room.

I have no shame.

See? Notable.

Nuggets for Nugget

2009-09-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Whitney is homesick..which really means she's dogsick. Here ya go Whit.

Dudley and his cow friend. He was a little pissy about the photo shoot.Arrow butt snuggled up on the bed. Mom likes a little dog hair on her pillow.

Abby's portrait series was limited as all she does is sleep and occasionally lick your toes.
I contend that it is IMPOSSIBLE to dislike basset hounds.

If this isn't blog worthy, I don't know what is

2009-09-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

It's 10:09 and...

!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love me an upset, GO COUGS!!!!!

Lubb Lubb

2009-08-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

We took Whit to school last weekend.
I mean, wouldja just look at the beauty west Texas has to offer?
Who wouldn't choose Tech?

I keed. The campus is pretty...the football is great...and everyone likes good country music.

AND
with miles of arid plains....
..comes miles of sunflower fields and big Texas sky.

Wreck em Tech. kinda.

Baby fame

2009-08-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

This little nugget came into the store today.
Who is this little nugget, you ask?
Only the elite celeb stalkers/pathetic celebupsychostalkers may know.

Jessica Alba spawn.

Her ma came in a couple weeks ago, but Honor is rolling solo these days.
......solo with her scary 16 year old nanny.

I recognized her like she was freaking Brad Pitt.
I should look into getting a life, my knowledge of celebs and celeb spawn is teetering on dangerous.

Me and Honor are totes hitting up Le Deux when she gets back to LA...we're besties now.

It makes your hair shiny and smooth

2009-08-13T23:08:00.000-07:00

Recent Conversation with snooty hair stylist:

SHS: What kind of shampoo are you using?

C:Oh, ya, know, just kinda depends. (THIS IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE. THE ONLY VARIATION IN MY HAIR ROUTINE INVOLVES SWITCHING OUT SUAVE REFRESHING TANGERINE FOR SUAVE JUICY APPLE)
What should I be using?

SHS: Just something low in aasdlkjfates and saiodsdndrates. Whatever you're using is working great.

I really stuck it to the Frederick Fekkai man on that one.
Had I said I was using the $1.37 food stamp shampoo, I would have been scolded and been told to buy 3 oz. of Bumble & Bumble for $25.00 in order to save my hair.

Ain't happenin.

Unless, of course, you want to donate to the cause. The Bumble & Bumble samples I stole from a boutique last week are about to run out.

The one where I went to Oceanside..

2009-08-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

Big fan of the beach. Big fan of my friends. Really happy when these things can coincide.

I'm too lazy to post the hundreds of photos from Rie, but here is a sampling.

We: sampled every Mexican joint in the San Diego metro area..went to breakfast looking like pier hobos, celebrated Ty's birthday with a construction cake...went to the temple..still looking like pier hobos...got lobster blister burned..that was mostly just me...paid $400 to see the Fray, but mostly just Jack's Mannequin (DARK BLUE, DARK BLUE)..muahaha, loved famous Norwegian cousins..and their folk songs (It's no problem), had competitive races with 12 year olds (FREAKIN WADE), shaved in parking lots (AHEM), and sat blissfully on the beach for seven days.

Doesn't KK look like Zooey?
The correct answer is yes. You can marry Benjamin Gibbard, afterall!

On to Oslo, Summer 2010!

Download Me

2009-08-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

I heard this girl at the end of Ruby the other night (the episode where she can't remember her childhood and is upset..please tell me you people watch this show, I LOVE THIS WOMAN)....anyway...

Download Sara Haze-"Lovely". Her voice is fantastic. Perfect for emo moments.

Post Grad

2009-08-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

This will probably be formulaic and stupid, but $9 will be sucked out of my shrinking bank account because Rory and Matt Saracen are the main characters. Oh, and it's also about my life. It really is great irony, Fox Searchlight...getting poor, lost, recently graduated kids in an economy down the crapper to shell out money in search of a cathartic experience.

Too deep?
Did I mention Matt Saracen?

Nugget Nielson

2009-08-02T14:57:00.001-07:00

....This little nugget was born last Wednesday

Sadie Rose Nielson

I have fully accepted that my mother loves her more than any of us-as evidenced by the mounds of various and assorted baby crap taking over our home. She immediately became the desktop picture on her computer. It must be mentioned that her none of her first born have ever been deemed important enough to be on her desktop,we've always been second to default nature pictures.

So congrats Miss Sadie, you win this battle.

Whit and I titled this one "ball of nugget"
Daniel, in true Daniel form, compared her to these two.
(Yes, Daniel, I had to google them)

I can't wait to see her and buy her love!

Beach pics coming soon....

Cali Vacay

2009-07-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

Could two words sound any douchier?

Just to add to my lack of blogging..I'll be here for the next week.
With these psychos...We're pretty cute, I'll be shocked if we don't come back married.

Southern Belles

2009-07-23T21:21:00.001-07:00

Am I the only one watching Southern Belles: Louisville?

The season just ended, but you people need to watch it in re-runs.
...on soapNet...just accept it

Since I won't be apart of the Real Housewives franchise any time soon, this is my new life goal.
Southern Belles: Austin and/or Nashville? YES PLEASE.

Fashion Fatness

2009-07-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

I have officially had the best cupcake of my life.

Behold
Chocolate Peanut Butter from polkadots.

If I blogged every time I ate something fattening and delicious, I would be writing much more regularly....so that's saying something for this here cupcake.

They catered at a AFW event tonight, but I look forward to an official cupcake outing with the Christensen girls and Care in order to further investigate flavors like banana nutella and s'mores.

AND they have cupcake happy hour on Tuesdays from 5-8 where every cupcake is $2.00. Maybe I'll make that a happy three hours and make sure to get my monies worth.

Cheree Berry

2009-07-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

Love the details in Cheree Berry's wedding.
Unfortunately, my last name doesn't yield many rhyming possibilities..so I'll never sound like an ice cream flavor.
She's blogging throughout the week at the Bride's Guide as well...

In my weekly wedding blog stalking..I found a few favorites..

This bride has the most perfect red hair......
via Brooklyn Bride

And this might be one of my favorite centerpiece ideas ever...
via Grey Likes Weddings

AFW

2009-07-12T20:40:00.001-07:00

Austin Fashion Week starts tomorrow!

If you're in the Austin area.....see the list of parties and events here...and vote for your favorites here.

They're free!!!!...no excuse not to get free food, drinks, and shop, people.

The Fourth

2009-07-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

My absolute favorite holiday.

I'm gonna stuff my face in a watermelon
Drag Whit to the parade?
Make various and assorted red white and blue delicacies
Ride a bike
Run through the sprinklers
Eat BBQ
Play with the doggies
Listen to country all day
Play with fire..wait what?

Have a great fourth!

img via Alicia Bock

The Bumpit

2009-07-01T19:19:00.000-07:00

(please note that these are the "hollywood bumpits, as opposed to the sacramento bumpits)

Just say no.

When their first ad showed up in BYU's paper a year and a half ago..I was so appalled that I cut it out and put it on our fridge for all to mock.

The infomercial came on last night and with each before and after we screamed in increased horror.

BAD.

WORSE.
A-FREAKING-PPALLING
If I want to look like Lily Munster, I will get a plastic comb and some aqua net, thank you.

Flower Power

2009-06-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

I think garden baby blooms have met their match...

For heaven sake woman...

Mommy & Me Fashion..Perfect!

Found via Oh Happy Day

Crazy People

2009-06-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

This is mainly for Miss Laura..who doesn't have fb (GEEZ WOMAN!).

What a doozy.

Jon and Kate

2009-06-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

The whole thing is sad....but maybe they should start by not letting UsWeekly and People into their home for a weekly update?

In any case..there is a small bright spot.

Kate slicked down her cockatoo spikes for this week's issue!
Does this mark the end of the reverse mullet?
Stay tuned for next week's cover....

A Friendly Memo

2009-06-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

=NOT A PROPER WEDDING DRESS

I wish I was exaggerating, I really do, but my eyes are still sore from viewing this atrocity on the FB last week.

"I love this strapless wedding dress...but what about the modesty?...AH YES...old navy has their white cotton t-shirts on special this week!"

I thought long and hard about blurring out the poor girl's face and putting it on here..but I just couldn't let myself do it.
It outdoes any bad Mormon wedding dress...worse than the bad tailoring, worse than the bad jackets, and even worse than the capes.

If you are dying to see it, and depending on how evil my mood, I might send you the link.

Please....

2009-06-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

Watch this.....now.

you WILL laugh.
and the volume in your hair WILL feel grossly inferior.

Tay Tay

2009-06-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

We've established that Tay Tay is precious.
She's fun and pretty and charismatic in interviews.

BUT

I feel like there is a giant elephant in the room every time she performs live.

The truth is, homegirl can't carry a tune-as evidenced on the CMT awards this evening.
Seriously...it verges on painful.

Am i right?
Has anyone actually paid to see her live?

In Case you're in the market....

2009-06-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

"We Scoop Poop" is apparently a legitimate Austin business.
Believe me, I learned all about it while sitting in traffic today.

Their slogans, you ask?

"Our business is piling up."
&
"We're # 1 in a #2 business."

I can't make this crap up, people. RIMSHOT

Moving on....to their website.

Naturally..wescooppoop.com

$9.50/wk for all the poop scoopin' your heart desires.

I only have one request...
I want Vernon scoopin' my dogs' poop.
But you might prefer Carlos...or even Joe.

Nose Goes

2009-06-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

I requested that Whitney put in a movie tonight.

"Nose goes Court."

I kindly informed her that the rules of nose goes clearly state that it cannot be played with two or fewer people. period. that would just be stupid.

She disagreed.

So I was forced to go straight to the source.

1.	nose goes	111 up, 66 down
	These definitions are right on. However, they forgot one thing. Nose goes can only be done with a minimum of 3 people, since initiating a nose goes between 2 people is the same as just telling them to do it, which is stupid. Nose goes. {Places finger on nose.} No way! You can't do nose goes with only 2 people! That's stupid.

This was the first definition on the page.

Almost verbatim.

Let this be the post that ends this argument round the world.

Nugget Grows Up

2009-06-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

Baby Nugget Nielson done graduated.

I was an absentee sister..but I was working an event for work..so she can't hate me.

Plus little TY TY was there. Doesn't he look handsome and just a tad bit fratty? He would kill me with his nubby bare hands if he saw this...but he doesn't even know what blogspot is,so I think I'm safe.

Care and Tom-Tom with their last little dragon.

And off to Tech she goes...

Anthro Austin

2009-06-08T16:37:00.001-07:00

The new Anthro catalog was shot entirely in Austin.

It's like my own personal travel brochure to get my friends to come and visit me.

See the rest here.

Well lookie there

2009-06-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

I have missed so much quality pop culture.
I took notes on the AI finale to dump right here.
And then..there was no dumping.

Thus..a summary of threeish weeks...

American Idol

WHOA WHOA WHOA..Adam Lambert is gay?
You mean to tell me that the excessive eyeliner, caked on base, platform shoes, and winged shoulder pads weren't just for funsies?
Oh, yeah, and Kris Allen won. Have fun in AI obscurity hell with Blake Lewis. The poor guy can't even get interviewed on TMZ.

Jon and Kate + Eight

Give Aaden his own spin-off show IMMEDIATELY. I would much rather hear him say such gems as "poopy butt weiner" rather than watch his parent's marital drama/ Kate's reverse mullet play out on television.
Think about the possible licensing deals with EyeMasters....

The Hills

How lovely that Speidi's spawn will have mommy and daddy's (third) wedding to relive for the rest of their lives....
Kristen's entrance....BAAAA...and sitting her next to Justin Bobby? FREAKING GENIUS. Lauren's exit out the phantom side door of the church into a waiting car to signify the end of her stint on reality television?...OH MY GOSH...I need these producers running my life..it would be so much more interesting.

Fail

2009-05-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

This is my blog as of late. I apologize. I wish I could say my lack of spewing nothingness into the world wide web was due to my long hours by the pool with a pina colada in hand.

But that just ain't the case.

I'm running around like a dadgum chicken. But my head is still in tact.
Don't you worry.

I'll be back in the next few days.
So don't threaten to take me off your blog rolls like douchey Marie.

Mango Goodness

2009-05-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Every time Sonic adds a new menu item I am a little weary.

{Cheesecake bites, mini banana split, banana on the dollar menu?!}

Well, they broke their sucky streak with the mango limeade, folks.

I highly recommend getting diet, however.

They go a little crazy on the sugar if you don't...not that we've already tried both.

The Wizard

2009-05-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

Daniel assisted me in digging up the name of this little childhood VHS treasure.
Please tell me that someone other than us and freaky movie girl Shannon has seen this?!
Classic Fred Savage...and apparently Tobey Maguire has a tiny part.

All I can remember is an ice cream truck, godzilla, crying, the tarantula car/"sweet dreams are made of these..", the sand dinosaurs, and "Cal-i-fornia."

I just found a DVD on Amazon for $12.99.
FREAKING FANTASTIC.

By the way...

2009-05-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

Here is our official mother's day 2K9 portrait.

What a friggin' peach...and wouldja look at that staircase.

Slather it on

2009-05-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

The blogs have been abuzz (abuzz? really?) with these little brownie peanut butter cups from bake or break.
Ma is a trendy baker, so we (we is used loosely) made them last weekend.

Approved.
Served warm with milk..VERY APPROVED.

Be prepared for some sugar induced seizures and the exponential growth of both left and right thighs.....but it's all for the cause.

Design*Sponge

2009-05-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

I love the before and afters on Design*Sponge.

It's highly addictive.
You've been forewarned.

So I have a bit of time on my hands...

2009-05-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

Who's been watching Gossip Girl?
If you haven't, I would like to introduce you to my husband.

Gabriel the ponzi scheme douche.
Hey, you can't be too picky in this economy.

In real life:

6 FREAKING 5

My age

Heir to quite the family name

Dresses like a champ

ONE little problem:

His name.

ARMIE HAMMER

This fact makes my television lust blog-worthy.

If he could promise a lifetime supply of baking soda, I might be able to overlook the issue at hand. Unfortunately, there's no connection.

Maybe I'll just move on to Mr. Colgate.

Paula's heart needs some blessing

2009-05-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

I bet you thought I would have some lengthy discourse over the train wreck that was Paula Abdul's attempted comeback on Idol last night.

But for heaven sake, why kick a girl when she's down?

She DOES know that she's down, right?!

American Idol

2009-05-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

"I'm so over this show" was said 25+ times last night.

I mean, how many times can I comment on Adam's trying too hard tight pants,
or
Allison's increasingly red hair,
or
Danny's rotating glasses
or
the fact that Kris just bores me to tears?

.FOR HEAVEN SAKE.
What happened to the days of amusing people like Jason Castro or Kellie Pickler?
Or when Ryan looked even douchier and toolbaggish?

exhibit A
Give me some frosted tips, Ry. I need something to comment on.

BORED.BORED.BORED.

Typical Tuesday

2009-05-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Bob Marley

+

Baking Cookies at midnight

+

a very specific psycho sister

=

Perfect Tuesday night

Care

2009-05-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

Mama Care turned an undisclosed age on Thursday.
Actually, undisclosed ages are stupid.
She turned 49.
I wouldn't disclose if she looked ancient, but she doesn't...at all...
Pretty ma.

In the hotel last week, I was trying to sleep like a mature young adult.
It was midnight.
My darling mother had other plans and went into laughing fits every few minutes.
We're talking full on CACKLING fits.
I have a video on my camera if you would like to see/hear (for a small fee, of course).

She's hilarious and I love her.

All grown up

2009-04-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

Apparently graduating from college is supposed to equate with adulthood in some skewed, non-sensical equation.

Since I am not measuring up, I've decided that the following three items can help to balance the equation.1. Dress slip. I'm tired of wearing volleyball spandex in order to wear some of my clingier dresses. Did I just admit that? It's time to buy a freaking slip.

2. Perfume. Typically, my only form of perfume is B&B lotion (or in the case of my dear sister, dryer sheets). I would like to say that my mature sense of smell wants to buy Chanel No. 5, but I actually think it smells like grandma drawers full of flannel. I'm gonna aim for Daisy instead.

3. Perfect white button-down. My Banana Republic, crinkled, thin number just isn't cutting it anymore. White button-down + perfect pair of jeans+minimal gold jewelry+ fabulous heels=adult?

The Drive: A pictorial essay

2009-04-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

I made the trek from Utah to Texas AGAIN. Trip #24ish?
The scenery doesn't ever change.

Southern Utah is still hell

Durango, Co is still fabulous

Texas hill country is still heaven.

But apparently New Mexico now borders an ocean. That IS a notable change.
Friggin global warming.

Bread Bowl Boy

2009-04-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

(blurred for the anonymity of all parties)

Care and I had a front-row seat to this freak show date last week. Bless their little hearts. Well mostly bless the boy's heart. His heart needs a lot of blessing. So does his middle school spikey hair. I think Eugene is an accurate name guess for him.

Some notables that were overheard from the mouth of Eugene :

"Well goodness, this bread bowl surprised me! It's sourdough..I've never had a sourdough bread bowl before! How surprising!"

"I just don't understand why Tina didn't like him. He's funny AND active." (Read: funny and active in your church does not equal automatic marriage)

"What's the deal with Melinda? She keeps saying she's busy...but I can't help thinking it has something to do with me."

Look, Eugene, if you keep talking about other girls and bread bowls on your dates, Melinda ain't never gonna call you back.

Exhausted

2009-04-29T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hi.

I'm freaking tired.
But I graduated.
And I'm in Texas.
I'll be back later today.

Nugget Shoes

2009-04-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

I bought the little nugget these babies last week

I just wanted something simple and practical for all of her 6 month old walking needs.

The Vegas

2009-04-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

I ventured down to the city of sin and debauchery last week.
I've found that Vegas doesn't really cater to Mormons much...shocking.
And yet we manage to have (sober) fun every single time.

Shannon's ma hooked us up with a suite at the Veniche (that's what those in the know call it..trust me)

So we did what any crazy twenty-somethings would do...kegger..gambling...clubbing...followed by jumping on the bed.

The weather was insane.

It turns out that truckers WILL respond to you if you pull over to take pictures. We narrowly escaped roadside kidnapping.

And I'm done with college. Completely. I am now a productive, mature adult..by default.

Bless your little hearts

2009-04-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

We had some quotables during Church yesterday.

Random married speaker:
"I know this is a singles ward, so you don't have the hope of an eternal companion to cling on to like I do..but...."

Maybe he was going with the theme of Easter and hope and somehow got sidetracked by the fact that all single people are apparently hopeless and alone.

Random engaged speaker:

"Not to rub it in, but I'm getting married in two weeks and getting out of here. I'll send you a postcard from the family ward."

Yes, please send me a postcard from your one bedroom basement apartment in Provo.

That was not the worst of it though.

Said engaged couple sat on the stand for the rest of the meeting like this:

Once again, I wish I was kidding, but this really happened..for an hour. I didn't know what to do with myself. It was like looking at a car wreck. I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't believe that two people found this to be socially acceptable and I couldn't avert my eyes.

I know my grandpa would have found this to be truly egregious.

The moral of the story is that singles wards are holding cells for real life, apparently.
I must have missed that in the brochure.

Martha Stewart is a liar

2009-04-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

Do not be fooled by these eggs and their party time exterior.
They will take you a lifetime. A LIFETIME.
Martha makes it seem like a little afternoon project filled with shiny sparkles and joy.

While there was joy (Sonic induced?), it takes forever and you may or may not find glitter in places that you never expected to find glitter.

Mardi Gras?
I'll show you their display later as an Easter treat.

For another Easter treat, see the meanest mom's attempt at an Easter craft.
I love that woman.

AI

2009-04-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

Except for this guy's STELLAR performance last night...
I was too distracted by constant camera panning to celebs in the audience to pay attention much.
But Lil and Scott....ya gotta go.

I saw:

This creeper from Fringe, four times too many.

Wait, Fringe comes on after AI? Great subtle tie-in

Paul Mitchell.

Not kidding. I hear he's a big Randy Jackson fan.

And finally, if you looked between Kara and Paula at ANY point during the night..
Mr. Rob Dyrdek was in full view.
sans meaty.
I think they should have Rob and big black be the mentors one week...with meaty and mini horse running around in the background.

GOLDEN.

Also, Randy should have to pay a fine for every time he mentions Keyshia Cole from here on out.
It's tired, dawg.

"It's bananas homie"

2009-04-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes. The Hills have returned. Faker and filled with more collagen than ever.

Exhibit AThe new lips look great,Stephanie!

And poor Lauren had a surprise party..thrown on a yacht...and she was forced to advertise for Avon all the while.
Exhibit B.I think it might be juicy berry.
Way to endorse, LC!

The most shocking moment of the night was to find out that Spencer is still, in fact, a douchebag of epic proportions.
When does the story actually arc? Do douchebags ALWAYS stay douchebags? You've got five seasons under your belt, Spency..lets change things up.
Exhibit C.
Maybe if I date him he will pay for my plastic surgery with his phantom, non-existent job!
WINNER!!!!!

The best moment of the night came right about...here.
Perfection, girls.
The acting classes have really paid off.
AND THE TEARS!!! ALMOST REALISTIC!
Bravo!!!
Heid looked like the glitter eggs that Kendy and I attempted last night...except with more plastic, blonde weave and face foundation that is applied with a trowel!

REALITY TV at its finest!!!

Apple Harlow Tallulah Nielson

2009-04-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

Little nugget Nielson is a girl!
I can't wait to buy this little girl's love.
I'm kidding...sort of.

I got this little number for her last night and I've started sewing a slightly bigger version for Carly so they can have mommy and me outfits for every day of the week.
Carly is gonna look precious in these....

One thing I will not be buying for the little nugget are these.
Small ones are adorable, but I don't want my niece being outshined by a garden on her head.

TOT

2009-04-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

Ten out of Tenn was a musical explosion of goodness.
I left as a huge fan of Jeremy Lister and Matthew Perryman Jones.
I highly recommend an iTunes trip to find them.

Rie and I made s'mores with Andy Davis, Tyler James and the rest of them post-show. We were just living out the groupie dream.

Two Words

2009-03-31T20:32:00.000-07:00

If I had my way, this little wannabe Zooey Deschanel would be packing her wannabe scenester bags tomorrow.

My fans will like it? Seriously, Megan? You're done.

Hopefully Scott and Anoop will round out the bottom three, but I bet little Matt Giraud will take Scott's place.

Whatever.

My real beef is with this one.Usage of the word "artistry" in your critiques does not legitimize you.
Everyone has an excuse for rambling incoherent pointless critiques but you.

Paula's high (and lookin mighty haggard)
Randy is a placeholder
and Simon is hilarious

I vote you off.

Fifty Dollars later

2009-03-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

Due to circumstances that were out of my control,

AHEM
I was forced out of my apt and ended up at Target on Friday night...by myself.

Commence pity party.....now.

Thank you for the tears.

And we all know what Target is. It is a black hole of crap you probably don't need.

Tinkerbell air freshener? Why but of course.
Dora the Explorer backpack? Yup.
Tetherball set? Perfect.

*****

Also, if you were wondering where all of the Provo engagers are on a Friday night, look no further than the bridal registry at Target.
I saw no less than 10 couples...most of the girls came straight from prom and the boys right off the plane from Chile/(enter your choice of South American mission field here)....am I sounding bitter? I think I'm starting to sound bitter.

I overheard one darling conversation of a potential groom-to-be with his bestie about some nerd video game that they were planning to play "ALL NIGHT, MAN." They made killer plans to meet at Beto's and then they were gonna play until they "TOTALLY DOMINATED."
From the next aisle, I said OUT LOUD..."Run girl, just run."

As you can see, only essential items were purchased.

Oh, and our carpet is drying quite nicely, thank you.

Ten out of Tenn

2009-03-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

The Ten out of Tenn tour is coming to SLC at Kilby Court next Wednesday.
I'm going.
You should too.

What is it, you ask?

Ten amazing artists out of Nashville..coming to UTAH, PEOPLE.
You need to take advantage.

ANDY DAVIS*JEREMY LISTER*BUTTERFLY BOUCHER*
KS RHOADS*ERIN McCARLEY*
TYLER JAMES*MATTHEW PERRYMAN JONES*TRENT DABBS*
GRIFFIN HOUSE*KATIE HERZIG

all of them...for 20 bucks.

listen to a few of my favorites, andy davis and tyler james.

Couldja do me a favor?

2009-03-25T10:47:00.001-07:00

Last week, as I was microwaving my vending machined/hardened/somewhat frosty bagel at work, I had an incredibly awkward encounter with your standard nerd zoobie. He will be referred to as NZ from here on out.

NZ was hovering around the break table with his tupperware of (mom made?) lasagna. I noticed he was getting a little ancy around second 4 of my 30 second reservation with the microwave.

So, instead of waiting for 26 more seconds like a normal person, NZ hands his lasagna to me and says "Couldja put this in there for 2:20 when you're done?"....and then ran off down the hallway.

I'm not kidding.

I'd never seen NZ before. He didn't know my name, if I was a serial lasagna stealer, if I was wielding cyanide in my pocket waiting for an opportunity for usage, or if I cared in the least about the temperature of the lasagna he was about to eat.

HE GAVE HIS LUNCH TO A STRANGER AND TRUSTED THAT I WOULD MICROWAVE IT TO HIS SPECIFICATIONS.

You have no idea the temptation of microwaving it for 7 seconds and leaving just to defy his orders...or better yet to take 3/4 for myself just to teach this ZOOB a lesson.

But the freaking lasagna got its 2 minutes and 20 seconds. And I got another classic story to add to my BYU dossier.

Announcing

2009-03-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

My fetus niece/nephew...Coming August of '09 or '10..we're not sure yet.
I can commence my hoarding of baby clothes as soon as this fetus decides to let us know what's what.
Thanks modern science/the natural way humans develop. Why can't we figure out the sex at a month?

In order to dispel any doubt....(you know us Nielsons and our fake pregnancies?) here's Carly, her belly, and a crib.
It's highly unlikely that they would have gone to all of the trouble if there wasn't a fetus in there.

And here we are last month making the obligatory fetus treat bags (complete with Yo Gabba Gabba valentines) for all of Daniel and Carly's friends that were still in the dark about the fetus's existence.

Man, when this fetus sees how crafty its mom and favorite aunt (see how I slipped that in there) are, it will be so grateful.

I, for one, will be grateful when Nielson fetus #1 is no longer a fetus or an it.

******
You should probably read the mother and father's official fetus announcement here.

It rivals any "I'm Pregnant!!!!" or "Bun in the Oven" or "Guess what happened on the honeymoon?!!!" blog headlines that tend to make the rounds.

Guaranteed Obesity

2009-03-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

This recipe seemed appropriate to commemorate the first day of Spring...especially because Utah is actually complying this year (thanks fickle weather gods)

I'm obsessed with this blog, but I forewarn you, you WILL become fatter just by reading it.
I'm down.

Without further ado, I give you frozen lemonade pie.

Looks refreshing, huh?
I look forward to enjoying this in a sundress by a pool with a diet coke in hand.
But lets be honest, most of my dreams include a diet coke.

See the recipe here. So easy!

AI Elimination

2009-03-19T14:20:00.001-07:00

Yes, Alexis (or Allison, according to awkward Randy) got voted off.

Moving on to the important issues.

I'm going to circulate two important petitions.

The first involves Carrie Underwood never pinning up her extensions again to reveal a helmet of blonde covered in an atrocity of black flora.
The second is much more grave in subject. It involves the absolute BANISHMENT of all future lip-synched, awkwardly choreographed, cheese ball group performances at the beginning of elimination nights. Do something productive with this time...invite Joel McHale on for a weekly roasting of Seacrest....It would spice things up a bit and wouldn't leave me wincing in discomfort.

Confessions of the Bitter

2009-03-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: If you read this and only see it as a tirade of a bitter single girl, go for it, at least you're reading my blog. Also, most of these experiences have occurred with strangers from class or acquaintances...if you're married and my friend, I'm not berating you.
I love the marrieds here at the BaYoU. I really do. And the engagers (technical term).
My issues with them begin with their assumption that the attachment of fiance to their name moves them to some magical upper echelon of society that I can only aspire to get to.

The fact of the matter is, that ring from Jared's only signifies that you are in love and said lover put a ring on your finger (even though said lover was your gf/bf two weeks ago and a complete stranger a month ago..but I digress, you cute little cougars)
For that, I am extremely happy for you. And that can be said without a single drop of my usual sarcasm.

Unfortunately, after the conversation ebbs and flows its way through the fact that you do, indeed, have a ring on your perfectly manicured left hand, and the fact that your mom wanted a simple get together with friends, but you want three feet high arrangements of ranunculas and daffodils..."I WANT RANUNCULAS. THERE WILL BE NO CELEBRATION OF MY LOVE WITHOUT THEM.".....it eventually ALWAYS turns to the following, directed at yours truly.

"SO, are you dating anyone?"

WITHOUT FAIL.

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?

This is usually followed by an artificial offer to set me up with "Ben's AMAZING companion from Brazil" or "Kent's GORGEOUS cousin who just broke up with his 18-year-old gf because she just wasn't ready to settle down and all she wanted to do was make out at Squaw Peak."

Thanks, but no thanks.
I assure you, I do not need to be taken on as your charity case.
The fact that you have a ring on your finger and I do not does not create an elephant in the room that you need to address. I like hearing about your wedding.

The fact is, I'm happy.
And that is not just a daily affirmation.
I love my friends, I love my freedom, I love the fact that I do not feel bad about spending entirely too much on clothes.
No, I don't want to grow into an old shrew of a woman with a menagerie of basset hounds.
But, since when was 22 a shrew?
I'm fine.
Thanks for the concern you cute little marrieds and engagers...but Ben's companion is probably a frosted-tipped, summer sales tool anyway.

AI Top 11

2009-03-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

Favorites from last night:
Anoop and Matt. These two have been underrated thus far.

As for this little wannabe goth drag queen: Three words
Trying.Too.Hard.
Adding the sitar to your arrangement of a Johnny Cash classic doesn't give you street cred, bud. It just adds to your ridiculous persona.
Also of note, in looking for a pic of precious Lambert, I discovered that he most definitely likes men...so let the rumor mill stop milling.
Take my word for it, no need to go search for yourselves.
He also played Joshua in a touring production of "The Ten Commandments."
Seriously..I can't make this stuff up people.

Unless he has some freakish fan base that I am unaware of, I'll put money on this guy going home.
Sorry, Sarver.

You'll notice no mention of the girls. This is on purpose. They bore me.

Brooklyn Bride

2009-03-17T09:46:00.001-07:00

Go watch the video from this wedding immediately. It is absolutely gorgeous.
I'm going to start saving my pennies so that I'll have the $5,000 to have one of my own from these guys one day.

See the video here.

Boutique Crawl

2009-03-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

We did a little boutique crawl on Saturday-the weather was unbelievable.

However, the only one we deemed worth returning to was Hip and Humble in the 9th and 9th area of SLC.

The rest of the boutiques were filled with snotty employees, $150 cotton dresses, and NO GOOD SALES...our sole purpose in our voyage.

Hip & Humble had a 60% off rack to welcome us and an offering of diet cokes to keep us there.

Read what Your Heart Out says about it here.
Read about the 9th and 9th area here.

And after that...drive around and look at all of the fabulous houses..then up the street to Sugarhouse...and over to East High...and say hi to Zac and Vanessa.

Boycott

2009-03-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

I hesitate to write about something so

.stupid.

.poorly executed.

.annoying.

.pointless.

and

.downright offensive.

but the sheer infiltration of this into my life forces me to bring the issue up.

THE OLD NAVY MANNEQUINS.
Yup,
there they are.

We have the ad firm of Crispin, Porter + Bogusky to thank for this obnoxious ad campaign.
They just sound shady.

Those commercials will be the death of me. MANNEQUINS PROPOSING TO MANNEQUINS?!!!! ..and then the finger falls off with the ring? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

******
I can't handle it. Can you be offended by the sheer stupidity of an ad campaign? I propose that this is worse than nekkid Abercrombie and Fitch models. At least A&F didn't shell out the big bucks to a firm just to tell them to disrobe their models to up their sales.

Stop Old Navy, just cut your losses, and move on to the summer ad campaign SANS talking mannequins.

Scientific Sonic

2009-03-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

I responded to my call to Sonic mecca a few too many times last week. You'll be relieved to know it was all for the love of science...ish.

It all started innocently with Kaley ordering a vanilla cone on day one.
The thing was huge..an epic stack of ice cream swirls, if you will.
My large diet coke (easy cherry) was looking pretty lame by that point.
The only solution was to make a return to stall 3, on the far side (everyone knows that the near side of ANY Sonic is where the lameos park) the following day...for research purposes.

Day 2: I ordered my cone...and they brought me out a sorry excuse for ice cream. I was so offended by the small stature that I actually think I grimaced at our delivery boy.
The only solution was to return the following day. I had to know what the ice cream stature norm was.

Day 3: Somewhere in the middle. Not huge, but not offensively small. Then again, how could we know that THIS wasn't the fluke. Had to return.

Day 4: Medium stature. With that, we concluded our experiment. The norm is, in fact, somewhere in the middle.

******

As pathetic as this may sound, I just saved you from having to perform the same experiment. Don't pity me, thank me.
Oh, and they're under 200 cals a piece, so my thighs aren't even notably larger.

Is it just me...

2009-03-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

...or do you suspect that Ryan is hooking up with all of the ousted 16-year-olds on Idol, too?

I didn't find his whispering in her ear or this creepy face to be genuinely sorry for her. It was more of a "fresh meat" sorta feeling.

Is that slander?
Not if some teenage girl is willing to hook up with the little elvin creature.
More power to ya Ryan, get em wherever you can.

Lazy Dazy

2009-03-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

KK and I had a lazy afternoon yesterday filled with old shopping, new shopping, and a heaping portion of sweet potato fries and ques adillas.
What can I say, I'm quite the health nut.

Coincidentally, the only thing I purchased were the foods and copious amounts of DC.
Here's to 80 ounces of nectar preventing future addiction headaches and the glorious sunshine that gets me out of my winter hibernation!
Utah and I have been particularly friendly lately.

JBT

2009-03-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

Do yourself a favor and download "Better than" by John Butler Trio.

Best pick-me-up I've found.
And it will forever remind me of Whitnugget.

This Young House

2009-03-09T10:02:00.001-07:00

I found This Young House somewhere in the blogging world a while ago and have become completely obsessed ever since.
This couple (both 27) are DIY geniuses who flipped their entire house by themselves.

Before:After:

Instead of listing and linking every little thing that you need to see on their site, just go here and look at everything...their wedding, the entire house tour..etc etc.

This is what I'm wearing

2009-03-05T21:26:00.001-08:00

"Courtney, did you take a Myspace mirror picture to show what you're wearing?"
Why, yes, I did, thanks for noticing.

At least it's better than this one....

What a darling face.
I love basics that I can rotate every other day...

cardigan:splendid, flats:old navy, jeans: 7s

******

Three things i've learned in the past 24 hours:
1. I went all day yesterday thinking it was Thursday but working on my Wednesday schedule. I checked my phone every hour yesterday to confirm the correct order of my days. Yesterday was, indeed, Wednesday. Today was Thursday.

2. Do not take your electronic toothbrush out of your mouth while it is on and in the process of spinning. You may or may not get toothpaste in your eye at 7 in the morning.

3. Do not let your friends convince you that purchasing 72 pieces of Kraft singles at Sam's will be more cost effective than constantly buying grilled cheeses at Sonic. Especially when you won't even be in your current home for the next 72 days. Accordingly, I will be hosting a grilled cheese party in the next month.

Mecca

2009-03-05T09:01:00.001-08:00

I have a recent obsession with Darcy Miller's "The Bride's Guide".
She is the wedding goddess over at Martha Stewart weddings.

She recently posted pictures of the prop closet that they use for all of Martha's magazines.
Catering mecca. My mom would die over those cake plates. I would bake a color-coordinated cake every day just to display all of them. And, subsequently become morbidly obese.

THE DINNER PARTIES I could throw. Of course, this is all contingent on getting out of my cramped college apt. with a dinner table from 1985 and four mismatched chairs...no abundance of Martha china and champagne flutes will mask a bad venue.

But I digress...and dream a little Martha prop closet dream.

Whoopsie Poo

2009-03-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

I tried to resist blogging about ole' douchebag, but according to Chris Harrison, we witnessed an HISTORIC NIGHT on Monday (Was the after the rose special part 2 considered historic, as well?), and I am bound by blog contract to write about all historic events.

Ain't no thing girls, he just pulled the switcheroo. Maybe he got you mixed up, you do look AWFULLY similar.

In my humble opinion, that was just the tip of the proverbial scripted reality TV melodrama iceberg though. The best moment of TV came right about here....
Now Jason, I hate to make light of your gripping tale of love won..err lost..BUT wait! won again..but this moment of hurling yourself over the balcony, crying to the reality TV show gods.."WHY MUST I CHOOSE?" was just TOO GOOD. No seriously, Joel McHale should send you a personal note thanking you for the endless number of times that this clip will be interjected into The Soup in the coming year.

And how about that poor kid of his? Ty, I don't want to put you through any more, so I won't introduce you to my fake TV girlfriends until there are only two left. So, here's your new mommy..cue jumping into pool together in formal wear to signify start of new family. BUT wait, daddy got annoyed..so HERE is your new mommy...oh and I'm going on a press tour for three months.

I was really holding my breath that Molly would announce that she was prego...with Jason's brother or something equally soap operaish on the After the after the after the final rose special last night..but to no avail. It was simply an hour of recapping the 7 hours of crap that we had watched the previous night.

Regardless, now women across the country have a new douchebag to hold up with the utmost douchebag esteem. Thanks, Mesnick.

This is what I'm wearing

2009-03-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

And I thought I would only last a day.

Oh, and just for the record, I'm doing this in reference to Cupcakes and Cashmere. That girl is darling, but her shoes cost more than my entire wardrobe. This is more recessionista/co-ed/I sustain myself on bulk cereal friendly.

tunic:old navy, belt:j.crew via buffalo exchange, boots: wet seal (FOR SHAME!)

This is what I'm wearing

2009-03-02T17:25:00.000-08:00

I thought about clothes of the day (C.O.D), garments of the day (G.O.D) and ensemble of the day (E.O.D), but all of them yielded awkward acronyms. Instead, here is your first installment of the critically acclaimed series, "this is what I'm wearing."

I would like to say that this will be a daily occurrence, but I doubt I'll post pictures when it looks like a rats been suckin' on my hair and my clothes are akin to wash rags.

Having said that, here is the poorly lit, poorly staged, poorly first post. I have to go write a term paper or maybe I would to take a picture where you can actually see what I'm wearing. This series is starting off with a bang! thanks, priorities.

I am a ridiculous human being. So much so that the camera opted to cut my whole head off.

jeans: banana republic, shoes: target, trench:old navy, scarf: madewell

Tay Tay Monday

2009-03-02T12:22:00.000-08:00

Miss Swift's coat is on sale over at kate spade.....

...for $596.....useless.

Don't ask me how I just happened to know this...I even scare myself at my wealth of useless knowledge sometimes.

Also of note, look who's on the cover of Rolling Stone!

She was even cute in her awkward stage. Gracious.

While we're on the subject, go watch her new video for White Horse.
Stephen Colletti makes a cameo appearance. Yes, THAT Stephen Colletti...proving that scripted half-hour MTV reality shows CAN be a springboard to stardom. Hear that, Brody Jenner?...errr, hold that thought.

Aaron Schock

2009-02-27T21:58:00.001-08:00

Evans and I have always joked (in the most serious manner) about marrying state reps/senators..

We would thus become....senator's wives.

..which naturally entails a world of J. Crew, sailing in Nantucket and posing for pictures with babies. I would lobby (PUNNY) for a senator from Texas so that my world could entail weekends at the ranch with BBQ..but I won't be picky here.

Please overlook the shallowness of these statements and focus on the fact that I have found my husband.

That hot man above is not an actor or model...he is Aaron Schock...27 year old state rep from Illinois. He was on his local school board at the age of 19..HE BEAT AN INCUMBENT AT 19. I need to get on the ball.

He was recently voted hottest freshman by the Huffington Post. Shocking! (I'm on a roll with the puns)

See his Today Show interview here. Call me, Aaron.

Den Decor

2009-02-25T11:24:00.000-08:00

I just found concert poster mecca.
Although most of the posters don't have links to buy, they have links to a lot of the designers' stores like F-2 and small stakes.

A few favorites:
We stayed at a friend's river cabin last summer that had framed Willie and Lucinda Williams concert posters all over the living room and I loved it. I don't need no stinkin' fine art.

Oscar Rundown

2009-02-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

I thoroughly enjoyed the Oscars. I thought the more casual approach to the show did wonders for keeping me awake for all 3 1/2 hours.
Without further ado, here are my own nominations/categories for the class acts/freakshows at the show.

Cutest Cast
Have you not been convinced to see Slumdog Millionaire yet? For heaven sake people, look at those little kids! I also have a full-blown stalker crush on Dev Patel. He's 18 and fair game.

Funniest DuoSteve Martin needs a permanent part on 30 Rock. These two just work well with each other, as evidenced in last year's classic "Baby Mama." Hilarious.

Best use of the macrobiotic diet/not eating

If I was a betting man, I'd say SJP hasn't eaten in at least three months to cinch her waist in this cotton candy number. Ferris looks thrilled, nonetheless..wonder why.

Best use of a surprise presenter

I think I should share in this award, as I squealed so loudly when Rpatz walked on stage, that I embarassed myself...which I am continuing to do as we speak. While we're on the subject, I can't believe Twilight wasn't nominated for best picture.....

Why are you here, again?/Least relevant

Zac and Vanessa: Zac, lay off the industrial bottle of hair oil. Vanessa, do not ever admit that your dress makes you feel like a young Audrey Hepburn. If you are the Audrey of our time, the universe itself will implode.
Miley: Just because you were in a nominated animated movie does not give you the right to taint this time old tradition. Take your multiple personalities and bad acting back to Nickelodeon. That was harsher than I originally intended, maybe I have some latent issues with Hannah Montana that I need to deal with.
Maria Menounos: SERIOUSLY?

Worst use of Collagen and a curling iron
(file under: Why are you here, again?)

Poor, poor Lisa Rinna. Her lips are now 98% manmade and her hairdresser hates her. Why don't we go back to hosting SoapNet talk shows, dear.

Best Use of Camera Angles
I loved the camera panning to Angelina as Jennifer Aniston was presenting. " Oh, look, Angelina is laughing...I bet they're besties." My question is, when will it be funny for Brad, Angelina, and Jennifer to present an award together with a live elephant on stage....because it would be hilarious for me starting right now. Make it happen. Also, I love that Johnny boy was finally broken out at an awards show on her arm...coincidence that it was at the show where the ex and homewrecker were in the front row?...I think not.

Most foul

Worst Dressed just didn't seem strong enough. Beyonce, please ask yourself, "do i look like wallpaper?" before you walk out the door in the future. It will save us all a lot of eyesores.

Best Dressed Runner-ups
I thought Kate Winslet looked classic and gorgeous..a little Grace Kellyish. I don't care about the criticism of her stiff hair, I loved it. And, Taraji P. Henson is just stunning. I can't wait to see her in future movies.

BEST DRESSED

I don't care if I'm the only one in agreement with myself...I thought Natalie Portman was stunning. Her makeup, hair, and dress were flawless. The Joaquin Phoenix bit with Ben Stiller didn't hurt either.

Blog love

2009-02-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

I saw miss cjane walking on center street with her darling nieces on Saturday. A normal person would probably just silently think, oh, I read her incredibly popular blog...there she is.

I defied social graces and rolled down my window to yell at her about how much I love her blog.
She turned around with a big grin and thanked me.
Blog struck? Did I just coin a new term?

*********

If I get home before midnight tonight, you can count on my Oscars rundown. I know you're waiting with bated breath.

NY fashion Week: Fall 2009

2009-02-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

My favorites for the fall collection stood strong with these three ladies. I love me a ladylike ruffle and print.

Lela Rose

Rebecca Taylor
(minus mermaid makeup and bed head hair)

Tracy Reese

Also of note:
When did Amanda Bynes become such a tranny mess? And Brittany Snow is FABULOUS.

On the left is an outfit from Diane Von Furstenberg's spring collection that debuted last September. On the right is an outfit from her fall collection. Apparently she's decided that the flower garlands need to be upgraded to giant flower pom poms affixed upon our heads. Maybe they'll put Whitney Port in their headgear again and see if it catches on.

The City: Groundbreaking Discussion part 2

2009-02-20T08:35:00.000-08:00

dear, dear, dear little Erin on The City has somehow involved herself in a love triangle involving two boys.
I'm just a little perplexed at why there is a debate at all.

You've got Duncan, a wee little hipster/scenester/emo kid, very small, elvin like creature with the most offensive facial hair I've seen in a while. Did I mention he lives in Canada?
Or, you've got JR, a tall, dark, and handsome ex who is sweet and incredibly accepting of Erin's shananigans.

FOR HEAVEN SAKE ERIN. Is Duncan sitting on some nest egg or what? Kick him back to scenester Toronto with all the hip kids and Death Cab. GRACIOUS.

While we're on the subject, did you catch Nevan's mention of bringing girls back to Olivia's apt?IS THIS MAN NOT GAY? How is that possible? More importantly, what girl would date him?

Listen up

2009-02-20T08:23:00.000-08:00

Brooke Fraser.

This girl is unbelievable. I heard about her a couple of years ago, and I haven't stopped listening since.
Her voice and her songwriting are incredible...plus she's from New Zealand, which somehow makes her even cooler.

Listen here.

I also recommend a little youtube search of her music videos...particularly Albertine and C.S. Lewis Song...and then promptly download everything she's released on iTunes...you won't regret it.

Sinking Ship

2009-02-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

Holy painful two hours of AI last night.
If I was a betting man, I would say these two are pretty much shoe-ins.

And the third spot is probably between these two. I voted for Anoop ten times last night. I think he's funny...and the options for his fan club names are endless and hilarious...I have too much time on my hands.

Dear Kaley tried to vote for Tatiana several times last night just to spite me. Her network wouldn't let her through...ever. If that's not a sign that ms. tropicana needs to pack her bags, I'm not sure what is.

Oh, and Mr. Seacrest, the banter with the families on the couch proved to be the most awkward minutes on television last night. Also, you looked like a little elvin creature even next to the smallest of the girls. Just helpin a brother out.

*****
Apparently I spoke too soon about Jamar Rogers and I will unequivocally lose my fake bet. They're doing the wild card differently this year and only choosing among those in the top 36 to bring back at the end. If they bring back tropicana...so help me, I will boycott/be even more involved to watch that trainwreck unravel. I hate producers.

Sonya Renee

2009-02-17T22:45:00.001-08:00

On the off chance that you don't already read snippet & ink, you need to read this post and take advantage ASAP.

50% off Sonya Renee jewelry!

I asked for a SR necklace for my birthday, but my mother can see the future and got me sweet speakers instead. It's a good thing...I just got my little necklace for 1/2 off. Way to be Care!

Chop Choppa

2009-02-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

I chopped it all off this weekend. The self-indulgent face was made in an effort to get you to ignore my 11 PM unkempt face. Maybe I'll take a picture later where you can actually see the cut when I'm washed and looking less oily.

I loved Studio Enizio. Finding a decent salon in Utah valley is quite the feat in the hair school factory of the west. We were pampered in robes, given drinks, scalp massages, and actual attention was paid to the cutting of my hair for $25. Glory Glory.

Plus, it looks like my future dream house.

Whitney and I officially look like twins. She is very concerned about the loss of her identity.
She'll get over it.

AI Recap

2009-02-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

Red thrones. Seriously? And were they only using two rooms of the "judge's mansion"? What a waste of a pool and a view, gracious. Have a BBQ or something. Since I already have too many favorites, I'll just get to my grievances for now.

These two got through because producers think they're good TV. Unfortunately, Tatianna del Toro is quite possibly the most annoying person who has ever been on this show. No one will vote for her. If you do, you should hang your head in reality television voting shame.

Frankie Jordan should have stayed. I'm annoyed. I would have actually voted for her. My bet is that she'll be coming back. More on that below.

As I was putting on copious amounts of Maybelline Great Lash this morning, mulling over the important matters of the world, I had an epiphany. First, I thought, WHY DID THEY LET JAMAR ROGERS GO? He has already branded himself, has unique fashion, and has a great voice. And then, it hit me. They're doing a dadgum wild card round this season, Courtney. Each judge gets to pick one person who was sent home to come back to the show during top 36. HE'S COMING BACK. I will put good money(or my Maybelline Great Lash) on the table betting this. They can't get more dramatic than the reuniting of two best friends. "You were gone, and now you're back!" You thought you had me, AI, but you don't, ya jerks.

My favorite moment of the night came when ole' Tati was peeing her obnoxious little pants over Paula's CLASSY jewelry line. The precious little ring Paula gave her is on sale for $12.95 by the way, act fast. One size fits all! Can't get classier than that.

When Simon said, "You're such a good person, most people wouldn't promote their jewelry line on national television Paula" and followed up by telling Tat Tat "She's gonna want that ring back" I was dying. Thank you, Simon, for making this show worthwhile.